It Was Our Day

Don't Have Sex on Me

 -A Couch's Plea

 

I object to be used

in such an obscene way

Find other places to

Have your sexual play.

People sit on me often

I'm used to that.

I don't like the thrusting,

or when she screeches like a cat.

You will break my springs

and stain my cushions

what's with all the bare tushin'?

I don't like the smell

of your sweaty bodies

The act you perform is

purely naughty.

Your moaning and groaning

keeps me up at night

Will someone please turn on the light!

Naked co-eds parading across the room

It wouldn't be so bad if they were

bride and groom.

I was made for sitting

and watching tv

For taking a nap

and drinking some tea.

So keep me out of

your love,

I'm not a third wheel.

Just stay in your bed,

and we'll call it a deal.