Wednesday, September 28, 2011

It Was Our Day

Don't Have Sex on Me
 -A Couch's Plea
I object to be used
in such an obscene way
Find other places to
Have your sexual play.
People sit on me often
I'm used to that.
I don't like the thrusting,
or when she screeches like a cat.
You will break my springs
and stain my cushions
what's with all the bare tushin'?
I don't like the smell
of your sweaty bodies
The act you perform is
purely naughty.
Your moaning and groaning
keeps me up at night
Will someone please turn on the light!
Naked co-eds parading across the room
It wouldn't be so bad if they were
bride and groom.
I was made for sitting
and watching tv
For taking a nap
and drinking some tea.
So keep me out of
your love,
I'm not a third wheel.
Just stay in your bed,
and we'll call it a deal.