How To Love [Remix]

Today at 10:00 a.m. I recieved a text message from Ken.  Ken is my dad.  The text said, "Can you leave Logan by 11 am to get on a plane at 1:50?"

Yes, I should have just skipped the rest of my classes today, and all my classes tomorrow, and a group meeting, and a weekend in St. George. 

Did I go?  No. For some weird reason, staying for boring class seemed way better than driving a car across the country from New York for the next three days.

And after sitting through two of three of those classes, I am wishing I was currently preparing for landing in Buffalo, New York.

It Was Our Day

Don't Have Sex on Me

 -A Couch's Plea

 

I object to be used

in such an obscene way

Find other places to

Have your sexual play.

People sit on me often

I'm used to that.

I don't like the thrusting,

or when she screeches like a cat.

You will break my springs

and stain my cushions

what's with all the bare tushin'?

I don't like the smell

of your sweaty bodies

The act you perform is

purely naughty.

Your moaning and groaning

keeps me up at night

Will someone please turn on the light!

Naked co-eds parading across the room

It wouldn't be so bad if they were

bride and groom.

I was made for sitting

and watching tv

For taking a nap

and drinking some tea.

So keep me out of

your love,

I'm not a third wheel.

Just stay in your bed,

and we'll call it a deal.

Inches and Falling

Here's hoping.

Also, did anyone watch Amazing Race this week...

The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock

So maybe I have a crush on one of my history professors. And so does my friend Sara maybe.

We had a paper due yesterday about The Return of Martin Guerre. The real Martin Guerre left his family, and after 12 years, who they thought was Martin Guerre returned. But it really wasn't, it was an impostor. So obviously, the title of my paper was "Will the Real Martin Guerre Please Stand Up."

So I go to class, sit by Sara in the third row. (I have never sat that close, her crush is bigger than mine) The T.A. asks us to turn our papers in, she hands me hers, the title you may ask, "Will the Real Martin Guerre Please Stand Up." Seriously. In both of our attempts to woo the teach, we had the same idea. Which made me think, how many other people thinking they were super clever had the same title.

We laughed so hard, I was practically crying, mostly because I really did think I was being so clever, and that my teacher would think I was hilarious and notice me. I guess my original idea was not so original after all.

Colours

• At the beginning of the semester my editing professor told us how much he liked the textbook we were going to be using, and that he had not yet found a typo. So if anyone found a typo he would bring them a candybar. Guess who got a candy bar yesterday?
  

• As you may know, I frequent Taco Tuesday at Cafe Rio. I mean, a taco for a dollar-fitty, pah-lease. So I have this friend that I commonly see at Taco Tuesday, and he never fails to make my Tuesday nights interesting, i.e.: kissing my neck, walking me to each table to everyone that we are dating, walking me around the next week to tell everyone we were then engaged, etc. Well, two weeks ago was no exception. We were standing talking about how apparently I am supposed to be married by now, and he was rubbing my arm and squeezing my back fat. I lost my balance (very common) and to prevent myself from falling, I reached for the chair next to me. As I went for the chair, my hand, most definitely and accidentally, grazed his crotch. It was awkward. Some words were exchanged, the situation grew in awkwardness, and ended with me yelling across all of Cafe Rio to him, "SPENCER! THIS DOES NOT REFLECT UPON MY CHARACTER!" as he walked out the door.

Eighteenth-Century Society and Culture

Yesterday I was able to go listen to two of my favorite ladies give their farewell talks.

It was incredible. I'm soo lucky to have such amazing people in my life.

Lately my catch-phrase has been "I'm SO happy!"

And today was no exception.

Danielle is headed to the Philippines.

Sarah is headed to Michigan.

I am seriously so lucky.

I cannot say that enough.